I talked to a little dick loser whose girlfriend bosses him around, makes him suck cock for her, and won’t give him any sex. He wanted to know if he was “gay”.

Normally I would just say “yes”, but it sounded like – unlike many submissive cocksuckers I speak to – he doesn’t like sucking cock at all. He’s just a hopelessly submissive loser who feeds on the humiliation she dishes out and finds himself more strongly bonded to him the more she abuses him.

So what is it about cock size? The guy’s got a 4″ cock. This is undoubtedly too small for any but the most considerate woman, which his girlfriend is not. But still it’s borderline. Some women may prefer a cock twice that size. Not many women who like sex are interested in a 4″ cock. But if a guy is really interesting in a way that (face it) few men are, a wife might overlook that flaw.

6″ is average. Smaller than 4″ is approaching the tinydick zone, that nether region where the little things aren’t good for anything but wanking off. But some of these guys don’t seem to be aware that their cocks are – shall we say – smaller than average.

I think there is an innate pride males take in their genitals. It’s an instinct.

I’ve known guys with small or even very small cocks who don’t seem to be aware that they are way smaller than average, and I don’t understand that either. How could they not know?

How? How? Inquiring minds need to know the answer to that question.

A teammate of his. Wait, what? It’s bothering him that his 41 year old mother is having an affair with his 26 year old teammate?

Like, she sounds like a hot lady. Does he think he owns her? Don’t answer that.

This story is just too weird for words. Grow up and let your mom have her fun.

Call me and let’s talk about it!

Link

She tells him to make luxurious travel plans for her and whoever she is traveling with – and that’s definitely not him.

She goes off on her fun weekend, and he is left at home with a raging hardon and a long list of menial chores to be performed before she returns, far too tired to permit him to have sex with her. He jerks off compulsively, over and over again. And, of course he calls me to tell me the good news.

Gotta love those cuckolds. Lucky guy, eh?

The poor guy. He married his hot young wife thinking he was going to get lots of sex. For a couple of years he did, but then something happened. She got tired of his inadequate equipment and started denying him, teasing him. She made him pay her – a lot – for any contact at all. She never lets him fuck her anymore, even though he pays, pays, pays.

He’s got a wicked foot fetish, and sometimes she’ll actually let him suck on her toes.

He sounded so frustrated, and the worst of it was he called for 10 minutes, and the call ended before he came. Shit happens when you’re so inadequate. Gotta take what you can get.

I bet he’s still frustrated.

Sure enough, it’s that time already! And who else but The Onion to put things in the proper perspective from the ladies’ point of view…

As A Working Mom, It’s Hard To Find Time To Masturbate

Classic quote:

I only wish I still had a husband to take some of this work off my hands. If I had a man around the house, I bet I could find all sorts of opportunities to masturbate.