I put an ad on a website, and I got a call from a guy in Alaska who was not really looking for phone sex. Actually, he was looking for a woman—an escort, most likely—who would get the breast implants of his choice at his expense. Then she would turn around and, through mind control, hypnosis, etc, turn him into the woman of his dreams, depleting his fortune while transforming him into a little cocksucking whore.

Well, I’ve kind of grown attached to my bosom, if you know what I mean. And regardless of the fact that he thought these boobies were “perfect”, they looked painful to me and hard to sleep on.

Not to mention the fact that the website hasn’t been updated in almost a year and a half. Is she still alive? And it is copyright 20005. When?

So I played him along for a few minutes, but then I got tired of speaking, since he hadn’t yet agreed to pay for a call. I was wasting my time, when I could have been doing something productive, like sleeping. And I really had no intention of getting any damned plastic boobies.

So he decided that it was up to me to decide if he was going to do a call. I told him to do the call, he started whining at me to use his trigger words first, and I hung up. Hmph. Topping from the bottom or what?

He can be somebody else’s problem.

Remember Ross, the loser called a while back? Go follow the link and read up on him, then come right back.

He called again this morning to give me an update. It seems like he is no longer in touch with the Mistress who put his photos on her site, so there doesn’t seem to be any way for him to get them down, even if he wanted to. Nor am It all that sure that he wants to get them down, and neither is he.

It turns out that he has made some humiliating videos and posted them on rude.com for the world to see. Unfortunately, the whole world doesn’t have accounts at rude.com. I myself had to take some time to figure out why I had a content filter blocking nude content, and since these are videos of him and his genitalia, I needed to disable the content filter. Took a while, but I managed to do it.

These videos are funny, both in a “laughing at him” and “laughing with him” way. The guy could be a comedian. Maybe he should.

I noticed on the site that rude.com claims to have an affiliate program, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Oh, well, no kickback to me for sending you there. This link will only work if you are signed in to a rude.com account. Go ahead, you’ll be glad you did.

Well of course it was. The answer is yes! If a guy thinks his dick is too small, then it must be.

I just love those little moans they make when you rub it in how useless women find those little peepees. Even if his manhood was a bit bigger than average, no real woman would be satisfied with that. They just look at it, their eyes get big, and they look away quickly.

Then they run home and call up all their girlfriends to tell them about the guy with the little weewee.

Is your dick too small? Well, when was the last time you used it to really satisfy a woman? Never, right?

It’s too small.