These are fun. I’m just thinking about you guys rubbing your little penises as you click my buttons over and over again!

Got ideas about what to put on my buttons? Send ‘em in!

Nope, it doesn’t. If it’s not big enough, it’s just not. Better wank that little thingy, no woman’s going to have sex with you anytime soon. Like, maybe in the next life. If you’re born with a real cock.
Testing, testing… Do you pass?

Well, I’ve kind of grown attached to my bosom, if you know what I mean. And regardless of the fact that he thought these boobies were “perfect”, they looked painful to me and hard to sleep on.

Not to mention the fact that the website hasn’t been updated in almost a year and a half. Is she still alive? And it is copyright 20005. When?

So I played him along for a few minutes, but then I got tired of speaking, since he hadn’t yet agreed to pay for a call. I was wasting my time, when I could have been doing something productive, like sleeping. And I really had no intention of getting any damned plastic boobies.

So he decided that it was up to me to decide if he was going to do a call. I told him to do the call, he started whining at me to use his trigger words first, and I hung up. Hmph. Topping from the bottom or what?

He can be somebody else’s problem.

He called again this morning to give me an update. It seems like he is no longer in touch with the Mistress who put his photos on her site, so there doesn’t seem to be any way for him to get them down, even if he wanted to. Nor am It all that sure that he wants to get them down, and neither is he.

It turns out that he has made some humiliating videos and posted them on rude.com for the world to see. Unfortunately, the whole world doesn’t have accounts at rude.com. I myself had to take some time to figure out why I had a content filter blocking nude content, and since these are videos of him and his genitalia, I needed to disable the content filter. Took a while, but I managed to do it.

These videos are funny, both in a “laughing at him” and “laughing with him” way. The guy could be a comedian. Maybe he should.

I noticed on the site that rude.com claims to have an affiliate program, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Oh, well, no kickback to me for sending you there. This link will only work if you are signed in to a rude.com account. Go ahead, you’ll be glad you did.

I just love those little moans they make when you rub it in how useless women find those little peepees. Even if his manhood was a bit bigger than average, no real woman would be satisfied with that. They just look at it, their eyes get big, and they look away quickly.

Then they run home and call up all their girlfriends to tell them about the guy with the little weewee.

Is your dick too small? Well, when was the last time you used it to really satisfy a woman? Never, right?

It’s too small.

Whoa, that’s a big cock. I even gave him a bit of a blowjob. You never get that from me anymore, do you? Of course you don’t. I’d do anything to please my boyfriend, but you get whatever’s left.

Did we ever fuck! You never made me scream like that, did you? And finally, after he blew his huge load and you licked me clean, I let you wank off your little weewee, didn’t I? You lucky boy.

You know you need it. Better call me.

His wife’s ex-husband was a black guy with a huge cock. She divorced him after he cheated on her, and she chose a reliable breadwinner with a little cock. And had him get a vasectomy right away, since they both agreed that little penises should not be passed on to subsequent generations. It’s a genetic abomination, after all.

Of course, she’d still sleep with her ex if she wants to. She’ll sleep with anybody she wants to. Her husband no longer gets sex with her, though he does get to pleasure her. And when he’s a good boy, he gets to beat off his little meat.

He called today because she was about to put his cock in a cage for a week (yes, they make them that small!) because her period’s coming up, and if she’s gonna suffer, so will he. It’s only right, though, isn’t it?

Either way, the only sex he’s going to get is with his hand. It’s only right that his major function in my sex life is to serve as my cleanup boy. You do a good job and I’ll let you stick around me and support me, like a good hubby. You know it’s what you live for, loser. I might even let you beat off your little toy meat so we can laugh at that little dribble of cum…

Now different women have different preferences, of course. But when it comes down to it, average is about 6″, and there aren’t very many women who are going to want to bother with a peenie-weenie smaller than that.

There are women who don’t care how big a man’s manhood is at all. Those are women who don’t like sex. So see, if you have to, you could probably find one of them. But still the only sex you’ll be getting is with your hand, won’t it be, cucky?

That’s why you losers are such compulsive masturbators, silly. A guy like that would definitely have to pay me to let him hang around me.

The caller doesn’t exactly have a little dick. It’s not a small cock. But it’s just not big enough. His problem is that he’s a big guy, 6′3″, and for some reason he thinks that a big guy like that ought to have a big cock. A nice big cock. Ok, not just for some reason. It’s because women expect that a big tall guy like that is going to have a large endowment. And he doesn’t. His is just average.

So they laugh at him, or look away in embarrassed silence.

I suppose there should be some kind of consolation in being at least average, but there’s not. Pathetic is pathetic, and not good enough is just plain not good enough.

Next!

Do you have a pathetic little weewee? Better call me now, loser!