Your wife has become a giantess

You don’t know how it happened. One moment she was there standing in the kitchen, perfectly normally. Everything seemed perfectly normal. There you were, sitting in the living room, watching television. You heard her voice in the kitchen, and it sounded like something was wrong. As you rose to your feet and turned your head to look that way, you could see that something was bizarrely, terribly wrong.

Your wife appeared to be much larger than she was. She had grown, grown so that the top of her head was just a few inches from the ceiling. As you walked into the kitchen doorway, aghast, you could see that she was continuing to grow. Her head touched the ceiling, and she looked down at you, an expression on her fact which at the same time showed bewilderment and rage.

giantess

More to come…

How can a guy not know?

I talked to a little dick loser whose girlfriend bosses him around, makes him suck cock for her, and won’t give him any sex. He wanted to know if he was “gay”.

Normally I would just say “yes”, but it sounded like – unlike many submissive cocksuckers I speak to – he doesn’t like sucking cock at all. He’s just a hopelessly submissive loser who feeds on the humiliation she dishes out and finds himself more strongly bonded to him the more she abuses him.

So what is it about cock size? The guy’s got a 4″ cock. This is undoubtedly too small for any but the most considerate woman, which his girlfriend is not. But still it’s borderline. Some women may prefer a cock twice that size. Not many women who like sex are interested in a 4″ cock. But if a guy is really interesting in a way that (face it) few men are, a wife might overlook that flaw.

6″ is average. Smaller than 4″ is approaching the tinydick zone, that nether region where the little things aren’t good for anything but wanking off. But some of these guys don’t seem to be aware that their cocks are – shall we say – smaller than average.

I think there is an innate pride males take in their genitals. It’s an instinct.

I’ve known guys with small or even very small cocks who don’t seem to be aware that they are way smaller than average, and I don’t understand that either. How could they not know?

How? How? Inquiring minds need to know the answer to that question.

The cuckold’s wife is out for the night

She tells him to make luxurious travel plans for her and whoever she is traveling with – and that’s definitely not him.

She goes off on her fun weekend, and he is left at home with a raging hardon and a long list of menial chores to be performed before she returns, far too tired to permit him to have sex with her. He jerks off compulsively, over and over again. And, of course he calls me to tell me the good news.

Gotta love those cuckolds. Lucky guy, eh?

Wife won’t let him cum

The poor guy. He married his hot young wife thinking he was going to get lots of sex. For a couple of years he did, but then something happened. She got tired of his inadequate equipment and started denying him, teasing him. She made him pay her – a lot – for any contact at all. She never lets him fuck her anymore, even though he pays, pays, pays.

She’s got a wicked foot fetish, and sometimes she actually lets him suck on her toes.

He sounded so frustrated, and the worst of it was he called for 10 minutes, and the call ended before he came. Shit happens when you’re so inadequate. Gotta take what you can get.

I bet he’s still frustrated.

PSO’s and the spambots they use

to try and blanket other girls’ blogs with their stupid fucked-up ads.

My blogs are all set to moderated comments, so nobody sees a comment until I have decided to publish it. I don’t have a big issue with spam, normally. But there’s a really stupid Niteflirt bitch who got hold of a wordpress blog comment spambot and is blanketing blogs with spam attributed to fake usernames and fake email addresses, attaching, of course, the link to her Niteflirt listing.

This one calls herself a “pink princess”. She doesn’t look like much of anything but a cheesy bottle blonde who puts on makeup with a trowel. The blank look in her eyes goes all the way to the back of her pretty pink brain.

My new favorite loser

The guy spends a lot of money on me. He calls repeatedly for up to an hour and a half a day. He’s into cuckolding. Talks about how he first started to get into cuckolding when his pretty little red-headed wife fucked a co-worker at a party.

We don’t do too much deep thought or historical research. I just scream with pleasure when I get fucked by his best friend or his boss, often at a party where we don’t even bother to close the door. Everybody hears…

Oops, you let it slip!

Sorry it’s been so long.

I’ve been reading some webcomics lately. It’s cool that many of them freely mix in the risqué, just as we do in real life, rather than extensively censoring in order not to offend those who are most easily offended in society, many of whom are probably a bit on the wrong side of the internet learning curve.

Well, hey. No Luddite, me. And little penises, too!


Cyanide and happiness: the 2